Better Late Than Never, Right?

I meant to post this the week before last, but for certain reasons, I never seemed to get around to pressing the "publish post" button. I'll get into the reasons for that later. Anyway, I am almost two weeks late on this, but the Feel Good Friday theme over at MommyETC on July 18th was:

...post SONG LYRICS that make you happy, that teach you more about yourself...about God, that make you cry, that make you feel special...that make you "feel good".

It is hard for me to admit (reason #1 for my tardiness), but I felt a bit of tugging in my heart when I read that. No, not because I had heartburn or anything. Because I was instantly convicted (reason #2). If you read these lyrics you might understand why:

One Touch (Press) by Nicole C. Mullen

Been ostracized for 12 years

I'm used to being alone

Spent everything I had

And now it's gone

I'm used to being put down

My issues tell it all

My only hope is anchored

In this fall

Chorus

If I could just touch the hem of His garment

I know I'd be made whole

If I could just press my way through this madness

His love would heal my soul

If only one touch

So many people calling

How could He ever know

That just a brush of Him

Would stop the flow

If he knew would He rebuke me

Or shame me to the crowd

Well I'm desperate 'cause it's never or it's now

Chorus

Suddenly He turned around

He said somebody has unleashed my power

Well, Frightened and embarrassed I bowed

You see I told Him of my troubles

And how...

I had to touch the Hem of His garment

And I know I've been made whole

And how I had pressed my way through the madness

And His love has healed my soul

Then with one word

He touched the hem of my garment

And you know I've been made whole

And somehow He pressed

His way through my madness

And His love has healed my soul

I tell you He touched me

He reached way down and touched me

When no one else would touch me

Jesus, shol' 'nough He touched me...

And I know I've been made whole

This song absolutely does it for me - it sums me, and my life, up in so many ways that I get a lump in my throat and have to look in the other direction if people are around. In case you didn't know, this song is about the woman in the Bible who suffered from an "issue of blood" for about 12 years; she was an outcast in society because of this, and I imagine that she was a lonely and sad woman, too. She was desperate, probably at the end of her rope, and when she saw Jesus, she just knew that he could heal her. Her faith drove her through that crowd; and even though she knew that she wasn't supposed to touch him (the laws concerning issues of blood forbade her to) she reached for the hem of his garment. Jesus knew instantly when she made contact; he felt his power unleash and asked, "who touched me?" Although the woman was afraid, she confessed to being the one to touch him. He then turns to her - and this is what really pulls my heartstrings - and lovingly says, "Daughter, your faith has made you whole; go in peace..."

I can identify with this story. Not the issue of blood part - I have dealt with some serious medical issues over the years, but not that one in particular. What I can understand is that feeling of being an outcast, that feeling that nobody wants you - those kinds of feelings that drive you to the point of desperation, where you know that nothing can save you but the blood of Jesus. Just one touch. That's all. Just one touch to heal you, to fix the things that are wrong; one touch to let you know that there is indeed someone who loves you more than anything, and knows you as His own, even if you don't always acknowledge Him. And that word he uses: "Daughter." I don't know about you, but for me, it drives home the point that even when society was shunning this woman, Jesus was not. He acknowledged her in front of everyone in that crowd as His own - "Daughter." Okay, I can feel the lump starting to pop up again so let me take a minute....

See, I have to admit - even though I don't want to - that I haven't exactly been on my best behavior lately. Frustrations with various things, anxiety, lack of sleep, school - so many things have had me on edge lately. I can't seem to find enough time in the day to do the things I need to. I snap so easily lately...at everyone, to be honest. I find myself becoming increasingly dissatisfied, and then look for things to validate that emotion so I can wallow in my pity party. And although I try to justify it, I admit that I haven't been as active in my prayer life and one-on-one time with God lately. Ever notice that when that slacks off, everything else just seems to fall out of whack?

And therein lies my conviction. I have been that woman - the one that Jesus acknowledged and saved when she was at the end of her rope. And you would think by now, that I should be a seasoned enough Christian that I wouldn't allow myself to fall into these kinds of ruts. But I still do, and it is just the worst feeling!

Have you ever fallen into that valley before? What did it take for you to realize that you had wandered off the beaten track? What prompted you to turn around? If you want to share, feel free...and if not, no worries, just typing this has been therapeutic.

So that is where I am at right now. I am going to make the effort to carve out some much-desired time to try and re-organize and re-prioritize certain things in my life. I have a feeling it's not going to be easy...but the most important thing is that it will get me back to where I need to be. Thanks for letting me vent....it's so nice having a springboard to get all of this out of my system! Blessings....

Ouch!

I....am....so.....sore......right.....now.

I am not sure why but it even kind of hurts to type, too. All because I had to go and try to be superwoman.

Okay, here's the deal. I consider myself to be a pretty fit person. In fact, if I listen to the Air Force, I can even smile and go ahead and say that I am in excellent condition. When I took my annual PT test in June (which consists of timed military style push-ups, sit-ups, and a 1.5 mile run), I beat every woman in my squadron, and in the run, almost all of the men, too. Had me feeling all good and positive. All the running I do at night actually pays off, I thought.

Then Isaiah and his best friend Keith decided to introduce me to this workout regime called CrossFit. You may have heard of it, but if you are kind of oblivious to these things (as I tend to be most of the time) you are probably just staring at the screen with a blank expression. It's okay, I completely understand.

Anyway, I am probably not doing the program much justice by describing it in these terms, but it is basically a no-frills kind of strengthening/conditioning program that is used by countless athletes, special forces units, martial artists, etc....it is not meant for people who are trying to look cute and check themselves out in mirrors while they do bicep curls or something in the gym. Now, this is how it was told to me, and I got really amped about it. I don't know about you, but I cannot stand the gym most of the time. You either have the same guys there checking out the women (this works in reverse too, ladies!), or you have to fight for your turn on a machine. Gets kind of old. C'mon.

As I was saying...I got all excited about it, especially when Isaiah came home the first day completely wrecked and about to toss his cookies. Since it was the day after his birthday, I figured that the drinks he and his friends celebrated with the day before might have got to him. I empathized with him while the naughty voice in my head cackled "wimp!" Then I promised to go with him and Keith another day. No sweat!

Wrong. Very wrong. There was sweat. Quite a bit of it. Belonging to me, as a matter of fact. We were given a deceptively simple sounding workout to do. The "simple workout" nearly made me hurl. Let's just say it involved a combination of a whole lot of push-ups and pull-ups (called burpies), and squats performed while hoisting a 20-pound ball in the air (okay, I admit that I took a lighter ball....so sue me). I started off pretty strong, but by the end, only sheer willpower and the fact that my husband was watching (of course, he finished before me) got me through the workout. I tell you the truth, it took everything I had not to hurl in the bucket affectionately named "Pukie" that they keep for newbies like me.

So now I sit. In front of the computer. Wondering how on earth my body is still operating. I squatted down to pick up my daughter earlier and couldn't get back up. Yeah, it's pitiful. So the question is, am I going back?

Call me crazy...but yes! There is something so...well, therapeutic about reaching beyond what you think are your capabilities and actually finding out that you can do so much more. And not drop dead in the process. Even if I hurt. Today. And probably tomorrow. And the day after.

So, people, I will keep you posted and let you know if I am able to hang. And that's about all I can manage at the moment...because I am going to bed! Besos!

Installment #4: The Colon Family Takes Over (And Departs) Hawaii!

Let's play a Hawaiian version of "Where's Waldo?" Observe the picture below. See anything interesting?

Your eyes do not deceive you, people. That is indeed a coconut tree.

What's that? Oh! I guess you may have also noticed the man perched (quite comfortably, I might add) on the tree! Well, this took place while we were visiting the island of Samoa. No, not the real island of Samoa. I'm talking about the one at the Polynesian Cultural Center!

The Polynesian Cultural Center is one of those places where you truly have to experience it for yourself in order to fully appreciate how incredible it is. This is a 42-acre Center located on the Windward side of Oahu, containing seven native "villages" that each represent one of the Pacific Islands: Hawaii, Samoa, Fiji, Tahiti, Marquesas, New Zealand (which is actually called Aotearoa - I never knew that) and Tonga. Each village had all kinds of activities to offer, such as Tongan spear throwing contests, preparing (and enjoying!) Tahitian coconut bread, playing the drums, even Samoan fire-knife training. We made it our goal to make it through every single village in the place, which was no small feat once you threw in a blazing sun and some unusually hot weather!

However, we actually made it around the entire Center, and were rewarded with a truly authentic Hawaiian luau. I'm talking about pineapple drinks, tiki lamps, beautiful music, and the best part of all, food! Here is one of the men preparing to remove the roasted pig from the fire pit:

And here is the procession of the Royal Hawaiian Court:

After the luau, we enjoyed a spectacular show that showcased performers from each of the native "villages" - it was a breathtaking performance, complete with fire-dancers and all! I really wish I had some pictures to show you, but like Cirque, we couldn't take pictures for fear of blinding the performers. Again, I can accept that because I agree that it would be kind of ugly for a flash to go off while someone was dancing around with a flaming torch or something. : )

After spending a whole day, morning to night, at the Polynesian Cultural Center, you would think we would be too tired to do anything else that weekend. But of course not! We got up the next day, pumped our bodies full of caffeine, and went to the Hawaiian Waters Adventure Park in Kapolei. Which, ironically, is the only water park on the whole island - who'da thunk it?

I'll be honest with you - after being raised in such close proximity to Six Flags Great Adventure, I admit that I tend to be a bit blase about water parks. You know the concept: been to one, seen them all. I mean, you can only ride so many water slides before you just kind of sit there and go catatonic, right? But once again, I was wrong - I acted like a big child and got on some of the crazy rides with my Dad and the boys. The wildest one was this new ride called "The Tornado." It is built into the side of the mountains bordering the water park, and you hike up them to reach the the place where the ride begins. The best description I can give you is to imagine (along with whoever is with you, naturally) being shoved backwards into a humongous red funnel that spins you around to the point where you are literally circling the tube upside down! Very tornado-like....if I hadn't been hanging on to the grips of the tube, I don't think I would be typing this right now! And I kid you not, there were grown men in there screaming like girls...I'm talking about big, masculine men, too, LOL....

Now, can you believe after visiting the Polynesian Cultural Center and the Hawaiian Waters Adventure Park, there would be more? Oh, yes! The following day, Mom and Dad headed out to visit the Big Island - land of Kona coffee, black sand beaches, and of course, the volcanoes! I can't elaborate fully on their experiences, being that I obviously wasn't there, but according to them, it was an awesome trip. Also, they took a ton of pictures, but for the sake of your eyesight, I will put in the money shot that you know you want to see:

Volcano!

While the parents were off trolling the Big Island, Isaiah and I were pretty busy ourselves - it was the day that we were all set to be given the keys to our new house! Man, what a blessing, and a long-awaited one at that. Just to give you an idea of why we couldn't wait to get out of our old house (which was being torn down, thankfully) let me give you a brief description of our previous abode. A very old home built out of cinder blocks, with peeling paint on the cinder blocks, no less; a lanai door that let countless creatures in (you should see some of the critters here); a yard that refused to grow real grass; really, prior to our departure, this house was literally falling apart all around us. To add insult to injury, after accidentally knocking a chair into some moulding, we discovered a ridiculously large ant colony residing in our walls! To a germ-phobe like me, that was enough to send me into the fetal position, quivering in spasms of horror. So, you can be assured that I was lurking outside the housing office like a desperate stalker, waiting for our names to be called so we could get our keys and run as fast as we could into the new place!

The last few days of Mom and Dad's visit, we spent doing all the things that come with moving - sorting, discarding, packing, and the best part of all, buying a few new things! And, as I am sure you probably can figure out, we were pretty exhausted. However, it made my heart smile to see my Dad and husband tinkering around with the boys and showing them how to be little handymen.

Then Friday rolled around. It was the 4th of July, but I just couldn't seem to muster up much excitement. We all kept ourselves busy with unpacking, moving things in their proper places, hanging curtains...but there is always that awareness in the back of your brain that reminds you that soon, your happy time will be coming to an end. Although I purposely tried to avoid looking at the clock, I knew the time was getting closer to when we would have to take them to the airport. My mood was growing increasingly somber and when Amir burst into tears at the dinner table, I had to go into the kitchen under the guise of cleaning the dishes so I wouldn't embarrass myself by doing the same! Time ticked on much too quickly...it seems that whenever you wish time would linger, it does the opposite and goes into fast-forward.

So, off we went to the airport - we were all doing a pretty decent job of acting like it was no big deal, in retrospect. That is, until the final good-bye came - then I lost it. Mom came to give me a hug and I just refused to let go of her...it's funny how the familiar scent and feel of a person can take you back to when you were just a child and the only people who mattered were your parents. After a few attempts, she finally dislodged me and man, then the waterworks really sprang into full effect. I can't properly express how hard it was to say good-bye to my Dad after that. One of the things I love best about him is his habit of whispering that special bit of parting counsel, tempered with a loving gesture, right before he departs. And he didn't fail to tell me just what I needed to hear before he gave me one last kiss and hug - although what he said is something that I will keep between he and I, of course. : )

Back in the car I went, looking like a hot mess - running nose, red eyes, tragic face and all. However, I did manage to compose myself before stepping in the house. And I have to tell you, if I didn't have my husband and children there to make me laugh that day I would probably have just sat around looking pitiful. Because it's strange when you are used to having an extra presence in the house for a significant amount of time, and then all of a sudden, it's gone. The kind of company where you can just go about your daily life and have the comfort of knowing that even if you don't say a word, or just sit around doing something as mundane as enjoying a cup of coffee together, you are content and happy.

But time marches on, and thankfully, it is capable of providing the best kinds of distractions. I have been busy to the point of exhaustion with all of the things that have popped up in the past few weeks. School, work, prepping the kids for sports, lessons, TDY's, the list feels never-ending at times...but most, if not all of you can relate, I am sure.

And thus ends my final installment of the Hawaii "take-over" by the Colon Family. A big mahalo to them for giving us some truly beautiful memories to hang onto until we visit again. I close this with a picture that should sum up their experiences here in one pose:

I think they look happy, don't you? : )

Catching Up!

Hey everyone - I know I still owe you guys another installment, but things have been so crazy here I haven't had a chance to sit down for very long and finish it. The last three days of Mom and Dad's visit, we had to move from our old house in the ghetto (if anyone from housing happens to come across this, sorry, but you know it's the truth, LOL) to our brand new one, and all I can say is this: Valió la pena! Yup, it was worth the wait, most definitely. I will try and post some pictures of the new place soon. On top of that, school has picked back up for me, Isaiah is preparing to go out of town again, and my youngest munchkin has decided to fully embrace the "terrible" portion of her terrible two's! Oh, my...but in the meantime, I leave you with some pictures that we all took together while my parents were still here. Much love to everyone, and just bear with me, I will update this blog again soon!